The Truth about Love

Sometimes, Love just isn't enough. You can love someone so much, and sometimes, It just doesn't turn out like you want it to...


I don't feel sorry for myself...okay, well maybe sometimes I do...But for the most part, I try not to. I did my best, I cared and fought and loved. But at times, It's still not enough.

And now I'm hurting. Not only am I physically sick, but emotionally, I'm a mess. Every time I think I'm strong enough, I think of a memory, a moment, a look. And I fall apart again. I don't want to hide from the world, I'm trying not to. I'm surrounding myself with friends, with school, with God. But when I'm alone, there is still such a dramatic pain in my heart. Sometimes I think it's too much for me to handle, but I realize I'm not alone. I have the support of so many people that love me, I have the hand of the Father to help me up, to guide me, to give me peace. I'm a long way from being okay, it may take weeks, but most likely months. This is so much detail for something so public, but there is a hole. And I'm not sure what to do with it, I don't know how to fill it, how to use my time. I feel like my best friend is gone. Because that's what he was.

I know I'm going to survive. I know God has a plan bigger than any I could imagine. But I just can't help wondering why I have to go through so much pain to find out what His plan is. I'm always asking why. So the truth about love? I don't know what the truth is...but I do know that it's out there.